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This is a breaking news report, an exclusive to LFR:

Furloughed Moose Stream Back Into National Park After Government Re-opens
International Falls, MN
January 23, 2018
All 46 moose have returned safely to Voyageurs National Park after being evacuated at midnight Friday, January 19 when congressional negotiations broke down, closing the federal government.

Since partisan politics began triggering government shutdowns in 1976, the moose in Voyageurs have been asked to vacate 19 times. The standard protocol is for the moose to make their way to Duluth where cargo aircraft fly them to China for care and feeding until the government re-opens.

In an agreement facilitated by the Congressman Hon. James Oberstar, China won a competitive bid for the occasional hosting of the park ruminates during shut-downs. China cares for the moose in Sichuan province at the giant panda reserve. According to China’s Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Hua Chunying, “the moose eat neither bamboo nor pandas so the two unlikely occupants of the reserve get along well.” She added that, “the lack of wolves in the panda preserve seem to give the moose a relaxing environment—sort of a vacation.” Even though the shutdown ended before the moose actually arrived in China this time, many environmentalists feel assured by the arrangement to care for the moose.

Each step of the moose herd’s progress was monitored by satellite using the radio collar that fashions each unit of flora and fauna in the park. No moose were harmed in the evacuation exercise.

Since receiving this breaking news story, LFR has confirmed that this is the shortest stay in China for the moose. LFR hasn’t confirmed whether the moose suffer jet lag from their trip.

One Response to “LFR Exclusive: Moose returning to Voyageurs’ National Park after gov’t shutdown”

  • John Palmer says:

    How does the Chinese government enforce it’s one child policy when the moose are on vacation. If a moose gives birth in China does the newborn become an anchor baby? Do the Chinese sterilize moose that give birth while in the confines of the preserve? What is PETA have to say about this treatment of moose? So many unanswered questions and I bet Sen. Shutdown did not know about the poor moose from MN.

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